The Missing Commandment Love Yourself
How loving yourself the way God does can bring healing and freedom to your life
by Jerry and Denise Basel
Through their book, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself, Jerry and Denise Basel draw on their many years of biblical counseling practice and help you experience God’s love as the daily, motivating force in your life. They help you see how to stop punishing and start loving someone whom your heavenly Father loves very much—YOU.
Join Jerry and Denise as they take you deeper still into the healing process as you learn to love yourself the way God does.
What Keeps You From Loving Someone God Loves So Much? How might your life change if you really believed God loves you—not just in your head but down where it counts: in your heart.
Imagine how different things could be:
- The lies you’ve believed about yourself all these years dispelled.
- The wounds of abuse healed.
- Your future lit with hope, peace, and purpose.
- Your closeness with God and others deepened immeasurably.
- The true, heaven-born you free at last to live a life unclouded by shame, guilt, and fear and empowered to love others fully.
That can be you. The truth is far, far better than you’ve known. You see, the missing commandment has never been missing from the Bible, only from your life. But that can change, starting now.
Used both individually and in Bible studies, recovery groups, men’s and women’s retreats, and private counselling across the country, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself invites you on a journey of God-discovery, self-discovery, and truth-discovery. This expanded edition sheds still greater light on some of life’s most wounding influences—and the way to move beyond them.
“When you read The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself, you need to be ready for open-heart surgery. As I read it, it felt the invisible hands of grace soothe the pain and numbness out of my heart. If you want to live from the whole of your heart and feel Jesus living through you, then this book is a must. ”
–Pablo Giacopelli, professional tennis coach on hte WTA tour; author, Holding On Loosely and The Modern Fig Leaf
“The message of the Father’s love is incredibly important in this hour. Jerry and Denise Basel carry a clear anointing to minister this message to the hurting and broken. They posses a keen awareness of the need for ministry in this area, not only because they have extensive counselling and teaching experience but also because they themselves live close to the Heart of God.”
–Billy Humphrey, director, International Hour=se of Prayer Atlanta; author, To Know Him
“Written from the compassionate view of seasoned counsellors, Jerry and Denise carefully guide us through the various issues of life and into the Father’s waiting arms. Filled with precise biblical insight, poignant testimonies, professional counsel, and practical exercises, this indeed a rich read.”
–Ed Piorek, Father Loves You Ministries; speaker; author, Father Loves You and The Central Event
“The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself is a must-read for every person interested in going deeper into the intimate and personal love that our heavenly Father has for us. To love ourselves in a healthy way is simply coming into agreement with how God already love us. Jerry and Denise have done an amazing job of communicating this simple yet profound truth.”
–Barry Adams, Father Heart Communications; speaker; author, Father’s Love Letter
“In the Missing Commandment: Love Yourself, Jerry and Denise take you on a heart expedition that will help you discover who you really are – the glorious person God has created you to be and whom he truly loves.”
–Gary Barkalow, founder, the Noble Heart; author, It’s Your Call: What Are Your Doing Here?
“This book is not just information: it is a guided path to healing, restoration, wholeness, forgiveness of self, and freedom from shame. The Basels write with simplicity, using narrative and grace-filled Scripture grounded in their personal experiences and the testimonies of others. This work is a must for every pastor and counsellor and for individuals searching for a solid path to freedom from the wounds and lies that have ensnared them. It will surely be a companion to me ad I reflect on my own journey and counsel others.”
–Tom Colwell, director of pastoral care, Credential Holders and Pastors, Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada, Western Ontario District; co-founder, Men of Life Ministries, Canada
“This book touches the deep places of the heart, filling in a missing piece of spiritual formation that has largely been neglected by the church. The Basels direct us toward Father God, helping us see ourselves as he sees us. With grace and truth, they show us the way to experience inner healing and to understand the Father’s heart toward us. If you seek a resource to help you experience the Father’s love in a deep and fresh way – then this is it!”
–Rick Mailloux, Pastor (retired), Brethren in Christ Church
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Love What God Loves
Chapter 2: “But Wouldn’t That Be Selfish?”
Chapter 3: Come as a Child
Chapter 4: What Does God Feel – About Us?
Chapter 5: Going Back to Go Forward
Chapter 6: Foundational Building Blocks: Trust and Identity
Chapter 7: Shields Up: The Ways We Protect Ourselves
Chapter 8: Shame and the Lies We Believe
Chapter 9: Good Grief: From Self-Forgiveness to Self-Acceptance
Chapter 10: Amazing Grace: The Too-Good-to-Be-True Good News
Chapter 11: Loving Who God Loves
Going Deeper: Stories to Take You Further On Your Healing Journey